Monday, June 10, 2013

Good morning anxiety...good morning depression

Good morning hardship. Good morning huge list of things to do today. Good morning expensive health care. Good morning life.

    This is how Im feeling this one word, overwhelmed. I use to ask myself the question "What am I doing too much of" or " What should I be doing less of" But having struggled with depression on and off over the years, those are not really the questions to ask. Especially because those questions come with a mind spiraling effect of wondering what I should do next. That may not sound like a lot but when youre having a hard time putting more thoughts in your mind really does NOT help. If anything I refrain from asking myself questions, period. Here is a generel list of ways in which I try to live during these times ( I hope this will be helpful to you).

1. First I have to think whats going on with my thyroid levels, since my thyroid is under active.

   2. Anxious and depressed times are to be treated with gentleness and care. I can only be gentle with myself during this time and request (if possible) for others to be as gentle as possible with me during this time. It is very very hard to be gentle with yourself atleast in your mind but its sooo important to try to be kind in your thoughts if possible-sometimes its not possible. I know thats a whole bunch of "possibles" but I put those in for a reason :)

  3. I had a dear friend that once said to me " I am an alcoholic so I stay away from bars and places where alcohol is served. You have anxiety and struggle with depression, you need to think of your self  in the way that I see myself as an alcoholic. As I stay away from bars and such, you need to stay away from places and things that generate anxiety and triggers in you"
      This is fantastic advice. If Im struggling with past mistakes I shouldnt read novels that have those mistakes in them or if the wheel in my mind is fixated on who I should be I need to stay away from movies and shows that personify those ideals that Im thinking about, for example if Im thinking all my problems would be answered if I was a homesteader out in beautiful mountains than I should NOT watch a homesteading DVD where only the picturesque details of the peoples lives are shown. I hope you get the idea.

4. Dont make any big life changing decisions. I once was in a bout of depression and felt like my life didnt have meaning so I got the idea in my head that if I went back to school things would be better. I went through the whole process of registeriing, getting in to the university, paying for the class and attending the class and then realized I was pregnant and my hormones were off and that had brought about that feeling of "If I were doing this...then... life would be better"  Im not saying people shouldnt try to expand their experiences and live out dreams. Im just saying to not choose those dreams and experiences when in an anxious time or try make decisions out of the thoughts  that are plaguing a persons mind while depressed.

5. I also like to call someone that can really listen or that can identify with me. I prefer not to call someone thats going to get all worked up and try to help fix my problem. Its a good idea to say at the beginning of the conversation that I just need to talk or have someone to relate with.

6. Simple hand consuming actions like crocheting, kneading bread, puzzles, coloring with your kids or drawing. I dont like sewing at these times because theres too much thought in it for me. I like to crochet hats because its so simple and you can turn them into baskets by flipping them over and crocheting a handle. They make great Little red Riding baskets for daughters and if big enough can be used as an awesome over the shoulder, across the chest bag for a boy to carry adventurous toys in!

Overall I just have had to learn to function even if minimal during these times. Im obviously not a doctor and dont have any authority on this matter. I just know what its like to be hurting and to feel so sad and feel alone and its nice to know there are other people out there that are walking the same path. Its important to me to realize that I can still have a life that is worth living out and though it may not be great by all peoples standards I feel that if God went through the process of dreaming me up even when He knew all the outcomes, creating me by His masterful mind and loving me enough to pull me up out of the guck by His Sons mighty hand then my life is worth living and worth trying to enjoy even in the hard times if possible.  My hope is that if youre reading this that it may be a help to you or atleast to give you insight into what someone you know may be going through.


  1. Love this post!
    Love you new friend!

  2. So glad you made your way to my blog so I can share my heart with a new dear friend like you!