Monday, October 29, 2012

A mothers heart

I was just reading about St. Augustines life and how before his conversion he planned on going to Rome and his mother (St. Monica) had been praying fervently for his conversion and was cosumed with worry of him being in Rome with all of its temptations. This is what I was reading

"Why I left the one country and went to the other You knew, O God, but You did not tell either me or my mother. She indeed was in dreadful grief at my going and followed me right to the seacoast. There she clung to me passionately, determined that I should either go back home with her or take her to Rome with me, but I deceived her...That night I stole away without her; she remained praying and weeping. And what was she praying for, O my God, with all those tears but that You should not allow me to sail! But you saw deeper and granted the essential part of her prayer: You did not do what she was at that moment asking, that You might do the thing she was always asking"

Augustine goes on to say that it was in Rome where he met St. Ambrose and it was this meeting that sparked his conversion. So it goes on to say " God refused to grant St. Monica the prayer she prayed on that day, in order to grant the prayer she prayed everyday 'Let him be converted. Let him be converted' "

This gave me great perspective as a parent. Sometimes I pray in deep fear that certain things that could lead my children away from God wont happen or that something will be a spark for them that will lead them into miserable heartache. But this reading above gave me a beautiful and quiet comfort. Though I may protect my childrens eyes and heart and minds from things that would awaken certain things like sexual desires way too young or things that would create vices for them, I will continue to pray, pray, pray for their sweet worthy and precious souls to turn toward the heavenly light of God and believe and put my faith in Him who can see their future , their past,  and all their moments and create an extraordinary masterpiece with each stroke from His mighty and gentle hand.  It is in Him that I will find a still and safe place to rest my delicate mothers heart and my sweet childrens bodies and souls, where I know they will be safe.

My prayer my dear Jesus is that no matter where my children look, no matter who they meet, no matter where they go that they will see that all people are longing for Christ and that is the deep desire in all our hearts. All the things that could lead them away from You are just things that theyre trying to fill the void with, but only You Lord can fill that void. I pray that if they do go searching for You in places that are dark and unkind that they will only find You... in others faces and in their own and others desires for deep love and acceptance just as Mother Theresa could see you in so much pain and sadness.
Mother Theresa pray for us
St. Augustine pray for us
St. Monica pray for us

In Jesus name

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