Friday, October 26, 2012

I am alive

Do you feel that...that feeling deep inside, that pure sense of breath pumping in the depths of your being...pulsing...refusing to stop until its noticed.  Is that you Jesus? Is that where you live in me? Will you leave me? Will you ever go away?  How come it seems so easy to quiet this feeling but yet it yearns and grips me all the more.

Back and forth my heart seems to be pulled. I try to silence myself and I try to apologize for my existence but you refuse to let me be reach down into me and call out my pain, my vulnerability  my longing for love, for reality. It is so painful...oh dear Jesus, how it hurts.

Light...blinding light...piercing me. I inhale deeply. I can feel You. I can feel myself. Is this Life? Is this the Reality, the true Reality? I am not afraid. I am alive. How can life be calm and intense in the same moment. Your presence envelops me, I can feel You all around me, I can see you in the others around me, I can see your radiant light flickering in their eyes and Your breath of existence in their every movement.

Thank you, thank you. Bless you, dear precious Jesus. I understand now the words in Your Word I can live and move and have my being  in You.              

                                                                    I am alive, truly alive

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