Shepherd me O God, beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into life.
I have been listening to this hymn recently and listening to those words have just pierced my heart. I was contemplating upon those words, over and over again, trying to understand what it was exactly that touched me.
Shepherd me O God- this line, first of all, is beautiful. Just to think of being shepherded is so good. Growing up hearing so much in school and in the media about making your own way, taking the unmarked trail, standing on your own two feet and those phrases that aren't bad in and of themselves, but that hold a deep message behind them really made me think about what I was told repeatedly. I was told to not be a follower, but this always goes along with the idea that you will be lead somewhere that wont be good for you or that you will end up being invisible and or unimportant. But when God shepherds us He knows exactly where we need to go, what exactly we were intended to do and who He made us to be. Being a follower to Christ is a wonderful act and choice. This choice frees us to live fully as who we are and as we were made to be and then we can lead and develop our strengths and take the unmarked trail because we have a devoted Shepherd that will battle the wolves, feed us, comfort us and lead us into all Truth.
beyond my wants- At first I wanted to say " of course" when I heard this part, mostly because I tend to think of my wants as something frivolous or something that is silly or unimportant. But when I sit back and meditate on this part of the song, I think about wants being something different. My wants are very important and they hold a special part of me. I look around at places, things, and sometimes even people and think about how I may want either one of these things to have, to keep or sometimes to benefit me. But my deep want is Christ. Because Christ shows me what I most deeply want and that is my heart, the fact that I have dignity that cant be taken away, that Im made for love both human and divine and that there is nothing that can fill me with peace quite like Christ. He shepherds me beyond my wants that are really just pointing to the REAL want and that is my desire for Him and what He made me to be.
beyond my fears- Again this one seemed pretty obvious at the beginning. But what are fears? Fears are things hidden that have not yet been fully understood or known. Fear loses so much power when understood properly or in context. What is the greatest fear of humanity? Not to be so bold, but I believe the greatest fear was somewhat answered with our wants. A deep fear is that we have no worth, no dignity, we are unlovable and that it does not matter if we are used or cast aside. But the truth that Our God shepherds us to is that we do have DEEP worth and dignity and it is a terrible injustice when a human being is used or abused or thought of as nothing, or ignored, or cast aside. Our very being screams out against these things...and every person can feel it even if that voice has been pushed down so deep as to the depths of their being; it still cries out against acts against their own dignity. God shepherd beyond this fear and tells us the truth, the truth of who we are!
From death into Life- This happens over and over and over again. Were born into a fallen state, we rise up in Christ, we fall, He pulls us up, we fall again into the death of the lies that we are told and believe, Christ calls to us through the depths and we heed His voice and rise up into life, again we fall, but does God stop...no. He chases us, fanning the flame of our redemption. Going from death into life can happen numerous time but He doesn't want us to believe in the lies of death but the truths of life.
This hymn is just beautiful. Thank you God for showing me Your truths and for pursuing me and shepherding me beyond my wants, beyond my fears from death all the way into life!